


Gil Gets Good

by orphan_account



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Crack, Flirting, Glasses, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9348785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Maybe Gilbert just needs glasses!”Absolute silliness.





	

Alice darted to the side, her mouth twisted into a triumphant smirk. She loved this part of the evening. Nothing like beating something weaker than her into the ground to perk her up. Oz darted past her, leading the Chain in her direction just as he was supposed to. It was huge, eyes large and rolling, mouth a grinning smear set low in it’s doll face.

  
“Alice!” Oz shouted, and she smiled at him, just as the chain wrapped her in one long amorphous limb.

  
“Seaweed head!” She shouted. “Take the shot!”

  
Gil darted from behind the warehouse, coat fluttering in the wind. Seaweed head, was Seaweed head, but Alice did have to congratulate him on his sense of fashion. His coat was almost as dramatic as hers. She turned to face the Chain, cackling wildly.

  
“Almost!” She shouted. “But mine is still better!”

  
“Gil!” Oz shouted, and Gil skidded to a halt, raised his pistol. . .

  
And missed.

  
…

  
“Stupid Seaweed head. We give you one task, and you can’t even do that. What are you, blind? The monster was the size of a house!”

  
“Shut up, you stupid rabbit!” Gilbert raged from beside the fireplace. He had been smoking since they had returned, Oz noticed, puffing steadily through one cigarette after another. It was always so easy to tell when Gil was flustered. He fluffed up like a brooding hen, hair a wavy mess, eyes bloodshot, and smoking like a chimney. As Oz watched, he ground out the cigarette stub he was holding, and reached for a new one, lighting it with a practiced flick of one hand.

  
Alice made a scoffing sound and tossed the towel she had been using to dry off with over to the side. Oz blushed and looked away, just as he heard Gilbert squawk. It wasn’t anything they were unused to, Alice parading around in nothing but a thin undershirt, but it was still a little startling.

  
“It doesn’t matter. In the end I was strong enough to make up for your uselessness as a servant. Just don’t expect any favors in the future, Seaweed head.”

  
Oz sighed, as Gilbert whirled to face her. They did this every night. He had a theory that they were really speaking in code, because no matter how angry they appeared it never went any further than that. A book flew past him, and Alice let out a squeak of outrage.

  
No, they were just idiots.

  
“Maybe Gilbert just needs glasses!” Oz said, still trying to read. It wasn’t until he noticed the pervasive silence that he looked up.

  
Gilbert was blushing bright red and staring at the fireplace. Alice looked just as confused as Oz felt. “Gilbert? What is it?”

  
Gilbert sighed, and drew deeply on the cigarette before taking it, half-smoked from his mouth and tossing it into the fire. “I- I had thought I could avoid you finding out. But, if it endangers my master…”

  
He turned to Oz with sudden, helpless eyes, and Oz smiled at, and swallowed nervously. Sometimes having Gil place such unconditional trust and love in him was a little scary. The man reached into his pocket and withdrew a slim pair of wire rim frames. They were small and black, and-

  
Alice gasped, her eyes going wide and huge, and then turned bright red, looking down at the floor. Oz was too shell-shocked to do even that. The glasses pushed his hair a little forward into his face so it framed the already smooth lines of his jaw, the curve of his cheekbone. And his eyes, his eyes- They magnified them, making that gorgeous golden color so much larger and headier, like champagne through glass.

  
“Gil…” Oz murmured, and took a step forward to do what he didn’t know.

  
Alice was still sitting on the floor, but she stood up suddenly, towel falling to the floor around her, mouth turned down into a frown. She stepped forward, getting closer and closer to Gil until she was leaning into him, as he backed away arms held up to ward her off.

  
“You are my servant’s servant, yes?” She asked, and Gil was so startled, he merely nodded a little. “Good.”

  
She smirked at him triumphantly, arms crossing under her breasts. “That means that you are my servant by proxy. Excellent. Suddenly Seaweed-head doesn’t seem so useless.”

  
Oz gaped at her, before clenching his hands into fists at his side.

  
“Alice! Gilbert is my servant, you can’t just claim.”

  
“Shush, property.” And Alice was smiling now, a sharp smile that filled Oz with dread. He tried to exchange a scared glance with Gil, but when their eyes met, he ended up smiling a little foolishly instead. At a chuckle, he looked back forward. “You will like this plan.”

  
…

  
“Ohoho, and what do we have here? It looks like this little raven has gotten himself into quite the predicament!”

  
“Shut up, Break.” Gilbert murmured, and opened his mouth for Alice to feed him a bite of pancake. Oz was buttoning his cuffs, and then unbuttoning them, slowly and sensually. “They may have lost their mind-“

  
Break smiled at him.

  
“I told you not to wear those in public~”

  
Break danced away as Gilbert tried to swing at him, sadly held down by the weight of Oz and Alice, who were perched in his lap. “I thought you meant because they were ugly, not because they were cursed into making everyone creepy stalkers!

  
“Now, is that anyway to talk to your master’s master?” Gilbert’s head creaked slowly to the side, to see Alice grinning at him, rather alarmingly. He almost shrieked when Oz leaned forward to nibble on his ear.

  
“Gil-kun, Alice has been taking lessons from Sharon-sama on romance. I wouldn’t push her.” He leaned forward a little more, and Gilbert shuddered as he felt that tongue slide around the shell of his ear, to suck on the tail piece of his frames. “Besides, it isn’t all bad…”

  
Gilbert shivered.

  
Ah well. This was life now. He’d just have to get used to it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Gil is too pure. Tell me [how](honeyedlion.tumblr.com).


End file.
